Libby McIntire
by Alastar
Summary: Lizzie and her friends become obsessed with a show that mirrors their lives, and they don't even know it. Many, many interesting things follow.**Complete! There IS a sequel! Its called Leigh's Company!**
1. Libby McIntire

"Sixth" has been getting so serious lately, I thought I'd do someting light and fun. Shout out to those AWESOME guyss who actually have me on their favorites list!  
  
Elven sapphire!  
Kawaii Girl Rules!  
HPReader4L!  
Shibarania! (Well, you dont read my stories though...)  
almost-never!  
Cute But Psycho! (I love Camping Makes The Heart Grow Fonder!)  
devilbabe1215!  
  
Thanx you guys! You dont know how great this makes me feel!  
  
***********************  
  
"Oh my gosh, Miranda, am I the only one in school who hasn't seen it?"  
  
Lizzie sat at the lunch table nervously, looking around at all the other kids. Kids who HAD seen the newest, hottest, TV show on TV- Libby McIntire.  
  
"Pretty much," Miranda answered, looking throught a magazine with the front cover advertising LIBBY MCINTIRE! THE NEXT BIG THING!, "Even Gordo is a fan."  
  
"I like Waldo," Gordo explained, "He is totallt different from the stereotypical 'television male'."  
  
"I like him because he's hot," Miranda said simply, "And sweet, and caring. Look at this picture, Lizzie."  
  
Lizzie's jaw dropped. "Wow. Look at those curls! How come no one here has curls like that?!"  
  
Gordo stopped eating and stared at her like she had just said something really stupid.  
  
"So he's Libby's love interest?" Lizzie asked excitedly.  
  
"Actually, no," Miranda said, "There is possibility of romance, definately, but he's just Libby's best friend. Lizzie likes this guy. Ephraim Shaft."  
  
Lizzie's jaw dropped. "What?! But he's nowhere near as cute as Wal-oh my God, here comes Ethan!" She put on a big smile. "Hey Ethan!"  
  
"Lizzie, Lizzie, Lizzie!" Ethan said, "You are looking ex-tremely de-vine today! Oh, are you reading about Libby? I love that show!"  
  
"Really?" Lizzie said. *Animated Lizzie: Aww, he's sensitive.*  
  
"Yeah!" Ethan said, "That Mirna is hot stuff!"  
  
*Animated Lizzie: Oh well...but he's still cute!*  
  
"Really?" Gordo said, "Because I really think Libby has more...I don't know...umph!"  
  
"What about Tate? Tate Manders?" Tudgeman was walking up. "Tate is my choice for finest lady."  
  
"What about cutest guy?" Parker asked excitedly, coming up and sitting down, "Miranda?"  
  
"Well...to tell the truth..." She blushed. "I kind of think Pat McIntire is cute."  
  
"Eww!" Kate said, appearing out of no where, "Pat is like...eleven. Harry Grudgeman is way cuter."  
  
Everyone stopped and stared at her.  
  
"HARRY GRUDGEMAN?!"  
  
*******************  
  
Lizzie ran home. Matt was on the couch, watching TV. "Move it, fungus," Lizzie said, "I have to watch Libby McIntire."  
  
"Its not even on yet," said Matt, who knew the TV scedule by heart, "After this is Inequal Smiths, followed by Brother, Brother, then Libby McIntire comes on."  
  
Lizzie nodded. "Okay..." She came back on hour later, ready to watch. She turned it on.  
  
  
If you think,  
We've got a photographic flawless strategy,  
Then we've pulled the wool over your eyes,  
Cuz we only do the utmost good we can,  
And we suceed on occasion,  
And then sometimes we don't.  
Getting more near every 24 hours.  
Solve this while we're going.  
  
Lizzie grinned. "Catchy song."  
  
The episode was on. It was about Libby and her first boyfriend, Donny. He was a jerk and broke up with her, and Waldo comforted her.   
  
"She should have kissed Waldo!" Lizzie said, wiping her eyes, "How could they not-" Suddenly she had the strangest feeling of deja vu. She shook it off.  
  
***********************  
  
Short little chapter. They'll be more soon. 


	2. Contest

Yay! People like this little story! I will update this tongiht, and Sixth hopefully tommorow. Then, MAYBE, I can get a chapter of Keep It Secret in. Lets cross our fingers. I put popular stories first, though. Sorry.  
  
***********************  
  
"The weirdest thing happened when I was watching Libby the other day."  
  
Lizzie, Miranda, and Gordo sat at a table at the Digital Bean, sipping smoothies. "What?" Gordo asked in reply to Miranda's statement.  
  
"Well..." Miranda said, "I was watching it, and I got the strangest feeling of deja vu, like I'd seen it before. Even though it was a new episode."  
  
"Me too!" Lizzie said excitedly. She stirred her straw around in her banana smoothie. "So," she said, suddenly dropping the topic for no apparent reason, "What is your favorite episode?"  
  
"Hmm..." Miranda said, tapping her fingers on the table, "I really like the one where Libby and Pat switch bodies! That ones so funny!"  
  
Lizzie got uncomfortable about the topic of body-switching. "Uh...I like Bye Bye Ridgehill Jr. High. I couldn't believe Libby actually KISSED Waldo!"  
  
"I really like Waldo and the Incantational Elves." Gordo tossed his cup in the trash.   
  
"Lets go to the mall," Miranda said, "I heard Billa Leigh Ruff's new CD is out and I want to get a copy."  
  
"I'm there!" Lizzie said, jumping up.  
  
**********************  
  
"There's a contest!"   
  
Lizzie was jumping up and down, really excited. Jo and Sam just stood in the kitchen, staring at her. "Um, what kind of contest, honey?" Jo asked, a little weirded out by Lizzie's behavior.  
  
"Well, Miranda and Gordo and I were at the mall, and we saw this poster! And you can WIN A DAY to spend with the Libby McIntire cast members, AND you get a small little part in the Libby McIntire movie! That means I'd get to go to ROME! And we're not talking Rome, New York. Rome, ITALY!" She held out a slip of paper and a pen. "And all you have to do is sign this."  
  
Jo took it and signed it. Lizzie squealed, took it from her, and ran off.  
  
"I don't want my daughter going to Rome," Sam said, washing a tomato.  
  
"Oh, do you know how many millions of teenage girls there are who enter these things?" Jo said confidently, "Millions opon millions. There is no chance she'll win."   
  
Sam took in a deep breath and shook his head. "Thats what you said about Matt and his 'Jet Li Sidekick' thing."  
  
************************  
  
"So, Pat...did it really happen?"  
  
Pat stared at his sister Libby mysteriously. "Did...WHAT really happen?"  
  
Lizzie and Miranda laughed. "There should be 24 hour Libby marathons more often," Lizzie commented.  
  
"Shh, shh!" Miranda said, putting her hand over Lizzie's mouth, "They're about to announce the winner of the contest!"  
  
*************************  
  
I think I'll leave you with a cliffhanger. Not that is really is a cliffhanger. You know who's going to win.   
  
So I'll continue.  
  
**************************  
  
"And our winner is...MATT MCGUIRE!"  
  
**************************  
  
The end of Ch. 2. Surprised ya, didn't I? What happens next? 


	3. Hollywood, Baby!

Last night I planned out what was going to happen. *Gasp!* (I usually write as I go. That explains that too fast paced, stupid, horrible, not thought out things I write) This chapter will be longer than the other two, since I made a promise to always make chapters with at least 1000 words each and I've broken that promise over and over in the last few weeks.  
  
Still, this fic is just a little thing I'm doing on the side and Sixth is my major work. (Yeah, right, I'm gonna get all obsessed with making this perfect...)  
  
I don't know Hilary Duff or any of the other cast members. I'm sure they are all very nice. But I;m making these ones mean and quirky and strange. Besides, this is Billa Leigh Ruff and not Hilary Duff, so oh well.  
  
Dsiclaimer: I don't own Lizzie McGuire, but I DO own Libby McIntire. Which is, in fact, a good substitute. Like...turkey bacon, or something.  
  
**********************  
  
"MATT, YOU LITTLE WORM!!!!! YOU STOLE MY CONTEST!!!"  
  
Matt laughed, crosseing his arms. "Oh, contraire, Lizzie. This was not your contest. And...if you pay me a small fee, I'll take you along."  
  
Lizzie grabbed him by the collar. "You're going to take me along, FOR FREE. Or you'll regret it."  
  
Matt waved his arms, and Lizzie dropped him. "Okay, okay! You can come! Mom would probably force me to let you come anyway."  
  
The contest people called and briefed Jo and Sam on the details. Matt was allowed to bring his family and three friends. After hours of begging on Miranda and Lizzie's part, and an exchange of twenty dollars, Gordo and Miranda were selected by Matt to go. Melina was also going. (Lanny had laryngitis.)  
  
"I can't believe we're going to HOLLYWOOD to meet the cast of Libby McIntire!" Miranda screamed, "Maybe...maybe we'll get discovered!"  
  
"Then...Rome! The eternal city! I've dreamed about going there for like...ever!" She slumped in her seat. "Too bad its Matt who gets a small part in it."  
  
"Cheer up, Lizzie," Gordo said, "Rome is the type of place where anything can happen."  
  
They arrived at the studio around 10:00 AM. The first person they saw was the star of Libby McIntire, Billa Leigh Ruff. Libby herself. "Oh my gosh!!!" Lizzie grabbed onto Miranda. "LOOK!"  
  
Billa Leigh stared at Lizzie and glared. "Who are these people?"  
  
Billa Leigh's assistant, Annabel, came up nervosuly, clipboard in hand. "Um...Miss Ruff, these are the McGuires and their friends. Matt McGuire here won the contest to meet you and the otehr cast members."  
  
Billa Leigh bent over, and looked Matt in the eyes. "You watch my show? Its a girl's show. What are you, gay?" She stood up and walked off. "I'm going. Don't bother me again." She walked off, flipping her blonde hair.   
  
Annabel fluttered nervously. "Maybe...maybe you should meet some of the otehr cast members. Billa Leigh is having a...um...bad day. Oh, look! Theres Tadd! Tadd!!!!"  
  
Tadd M. Clamberg jumped. "Don't...scream!!!" he said, "Annabel, you know how it just..." His eyes landed on Melina. "Hello. You are?"  
  
Melina grabbed his hand and shook it. "Melina Bianca."  
  
"Nice...hand shake you have there...nice hair, too..." He snapped out of it. "Um...would you like a tour of the studio, Miss Bianca?"   
  
Melina shrugged. "Uh...I don't know..."  
  
"We'd all like a tour!" Lizzie squealed, thrilled to see Tadd face to face.   
  
Tadd scowled. "I didn't invite you. I find your presence annoying and grating. But...if you all must come..."   
  
Tadd guided them around the studio, staring at Melina strangely. "This is Cayden Ryder's dressing room...oh, here's Cayden now."  
  
The tall, grinning actor who played Ephraim approached the group. "Hello...I'm Cayden Ryder. Does anyone want my autograph?"  
  
Lizzie barely glanced at him. "Uh...not really." She fluttered her eyes at Tadd, who grimaced and looked away.  
  
Cayden took her hand and kissed it. "And who are you, lovely damsel?"  
  
Lizzie jerked her hand away like he had vomited on it. "I'm Lizzie McGuire, and I'm not interested."  
  
Cayden stared at her. "Well...um..." He opened the door of his dressing room. "I'll be right here."  
  
Lizzie walked away with the group, not even giving Cayden a second glance.  
***************************  
  
  
"That wasn't exactly what I expected it to be," Lizzie said, falling into the hotel bed, "I mean, Billa Leigh was a total jerk, Tadd was disgusted by the sight of me, Ashton was a mental case, Lyle K. Browns was depressing, and Cayden was just...creepy."  
  
Miranda shrugged. "I thought he was kind of sweet. It was Blake Promise who freaked me out. He's going to freak out and kill someone, I know it."  
  
There was a knock on the door. "Delivery for a Miss Lizzie McGuire."  
  
Lizze stared at the door, curiously, and got up. There was a man outside the door holding a dozen roses. "You Lizzie McGuire."  
  
"Yep."  
  
"Sign here."   
  
Lizzie signed, then took the doaen roses. "Who are they from?!" Miranda demanded, "Look at the card, look at the card!!!!"  
  
Lizzie took out the card. "The moment I saw you, I knew you were the one for me," she read, raising an eyebrow, "Meet me at the Starbucks on Hollisen Street at 9:00. Cayden Ryder!...Miranda, this is creepy!!!!!! He's going to stalk me!"  
  
Miranda took the card and read it. "Lizzie, he may not be cute, but he's famous!"  
  
Lizzie sighed. "Miranda, remember when I went out with Frankie Muniz? Remember that disaster. I don't want to repeat- OH MY GOSH, WHO IS THAT?!"  
  
Miradna looked out the EIGHTH STORY WINDOW, and saw Cayden hanging on for dear life.   
  
"Lizzie! Lizzie McGuire!!! I love you! We were meant for each other!!!!"  
  
Lizzie and Miranda screamed, and ran out of the hotel room.  
  
************************  
  
End chapter three. So they're in Hollywood, Lizzie's being stalked by the acter who plays Ephraim Shaft, she doesn't like him at all. And whats up with Tadd staring at Melina? Find out in Ch four!  
  
REVIEW!!!!!!!!!! 


	4. Obsessed

Okay, THANKS FOR THE REVIEWS! I love when you mention exactly what you enjoyed!!! Like you, dance-krazy, when you said how you liked how I changed the theme song! "Then we've pulled the wool over your eyes..." Lol! Try singing that song. It has a very weird effect on you.  
  
Ahh! Its hard to type cuz I stabbed myself with a nnedle earlier today when I was sewing a purse out of my old jeans (YAY! I'm economical!) and I had to put a Band-Aid on it.   
  
Disclaimer:I do not on Lizzie McGuire, but I DO own all of my reviewers minds!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!  
  
*************************************  
  
"You think its bad CAYDEN is stalking you?! Try having someone SEVEN years older than you stalking you!!!"  
  
Melina sat on her bed. The entire hotel room was entirely decorated with flowers. "It was like this when I came here. And there was this note." She handed the card to Miranda, who read it aloud.  
  
"Melina-Hope you are not allergic. Tadd..." Miranda screwed up her face strangely. "Tadd is like...eighteen. I think his being in love with you is against the law." She handed the card back to her.  
  
"Not to mention ANNOYING. I almost don't want to go down and watch the filming today."  
  
"At least you don't have someone serenading you outside your hotel room," Lizzie said. She opened the door and looked down the hall. Cayden was still out in front of her door, strumming on a guitar, and wailing out a bad version of Everywhere, by Michelle Branch. Lizzie turned to the two girls. "Should he even be singing girl's songs?"  
  
Melina covered her ears. "He shouldn't even be singing at all. Shut the door!"  
  
Lizzie complied. "Why are these celebrities so attracted to us?!"  
  
"No one's attracted to me!!!" Miranda sighed. "Does that mean theres something wrong with me? That a famous celebrity has fallen head over heels for me?"  
  
Lizzie covered her ears as Cayden's singing got louder and came through the walls. "Consider yourself lucky."  
  
***************************  
  
"Today we're taping an episode called Libby and Tate's Big Adventure."  
  
Gordo sighed as they talked on and on. Sure, it was the oppurtunity of a lifetime, being at an actual filming. It was great experience for an aspiring young director. But the only thing stronger than Gordo's love of filmmaking was his love for food, and he was starving.  
  
There was a table with a nice spread just a few feet away. All he needed were a few hot wings and some Coke and pie...  
  
"Hello."   
  
Gordo looked up and saw Billa Leigh Duff. She was wearing a short skirt and tube top certainly not fit for the G-rated Halt Krisney company.   
  
He remembered how angry she had been earlier, and thought things would probably be okay if he just backed away...  
  
"Where are you going?" Billa Leigh fluttered her eyelashes a bit and smiled. "Come here. I won't bite."  
  
Gordo was officially freaked out. "Uh..."  
  
Billa Leigh stepped a little closer. She put her arm around his neck. "Oh..are you shy?" She pressed her lips against Gordo's roughly. Gordo squirmed to get away. He wanted to get away. Just get anywhere.  
  
But...she did look an awful lot like Lizzie.  
  
No! Gordo pushed her away. She was way too slutty to be Lizzie. "What are you doing?!"   
  
Billa Leigh pouted and twisted her blonde hair around her finger. "What...you don't think I'm pretty?"  
  
Gordo stared at her. Wow..."No, no. I think you're very pretty. Its just...I like someone else, and we just met..."  
  
Billa Leigh suddenly got a murderous look in her eye. "Its that Lizzie girl, isn't it?"  
  
Gordo stared at her. "Um...uh...how did you know...?"  
  
Billa Leigh laughed evilly, not answering his question. "I'll take care of this. Billa Leigh Ruff always gets her guy."  
  
********************************  
  
Uh oh!!!! What is Billa Leigh going to do? Why is Cayden so obsessive?! WHY IS TADD IN LOVE WITH AN ELEVEN YEAR OLD?! ...why are my chapters so short? But this seemed like such a good place to end it...  
  
I'm in a good mood. I have Citrus Altoids, and I'm listening to "Why Not" by Hilary Duff while writing this. 


	5. The Eternal City

You like me, you really like me!!!  
  
Things are going so great. I love you guys!!!!! You're so awesome. I was looking through the reviews when I realized: I HAD FORGOTTEN A LALAINE PARODY CHARACTER. I was like, HOW COULD I?! Miranda is one of my favorite characters, right after Gordo. So, in this chapter I was right htat terrible wrong.  
  
***********************  
  
"Lizzie, I think you need to watch out for Billa Leigh Ruff."  
  
Lizzie stood in the airport, holding her carry-on and looking around nervously. "What do you mean Gordo?...you don't see Cayden anywhere, do you? Last I came back to the hotel room and he had somehow gotten inside. It freaked me out. I had to call hotel security to get him and his Mexican band out of the room."  
  
Gordo stared at her. "Okay...but I think Billa Leigh might be out for you." Just then a flaming arrow came out of nowhere, headed straight for Lizzie. She ducked.   
  
"What makes you say that Gordo?"  
  
Gordo shook his head and walked off. Lizzie picked up the arrow, blew out the fire, and pulled off a note. "Lizzie- you better watch your back. I'm going to kill you. BLR. Hmmm...wonder who BLR is...."  
  
"I SWEAR, TADD M. CLAMBERG, IF YOU DON'T STAY AWAY FROM ME I'M GOING TO FILE A RESTRAINING ORDER! WHAT YOU'RE DOING IS ILLEGAL!"  
  
Tadd just smiled at Melina. "We haven't done anyting illegal, yet."   
  
Melina screamed and ran over to Matt. "Save me from this psycho-pedofile!"  
  
Matt grinned. "Melina...I've never seen you like this. You're usually so cool and confident. Melina never need MY help. Yet now, here you are, begging. Groveling like an animal. What makes you think I would-"  
  
Melina kissed Matt on the lips, grabbing him by the back of the neck and putting her full force into the kiss. Matt looked up at her, dazed. "Uh...um...stick with me and I'll...protect you."  
  
Melina grinned, took Matt's arm, and stuck her tongue out at Tadd.  
  
************************  
  
"Rome!"  
  
Lizzie looked as they descended into the wonderful city. "This is...amazing. Gordo? Are you awake?"  
  
Gordo rubbed his eyes. "Uh, yeah...are we there already?"  
  
Lizzie laughed. "Already? We've been in this plane for thirteen hours. I'm ready to get off."  
  
They were walking through the airport, when they heard a shriek. "Tremaine?! What are you doing in Rome?! I thought you weren't going to be in the movie!"  
  
Tremaine (thats all she went by) stood in the middle of the airport, looking dazzling. "I changed my mind. Can you write Mirna in there?"  
  
"In-in a second!"   
  
Billa Leigh Ruff pushed through the crowd. "I thought I said there was room enough in this town for the both of us, Tremaine."  
  
Tremaine glared at Billa Leigh. "This is Rome, Ruff. Its huge. Get a life."  
  
They went to a fabulous hotel, and Lizzie and Miranda had a wonderful room. "Could life be any better?" Miranda asked, falling onto the soft bed.  
  
There was a knock on the door.   
  
Miranda jumped up and answered it. A tall, dark haired man stood there. "Hello," he said, "I'm Johney Tellman. I play Raulo, the sneaky but handsome pop star? I was wondering if you would like to go out for gelato?"  
  
Miranda grinned, and took his hand. "Sure!" And she was gone.  
  
Lizzie fell on her bed. Alone. All alone. This contest was supposed to be the adventure of a lifetime, but instead she just got stalkers and death threats.  
  
She wished she had never even watched Libby McIntire.  
  
******************************  
  
OH NO! Lizzie wishes she had never watched Libby. But hteres going to be an exciting twist in the next chapter!!! Dun dun dun! 


	6. Gelato, Stalkers, Hitmen and a TWIST

AHHH! I'm a day late! I like an update every day, but my computer just WASN'T WORKING yesterday! Its so gay! Ahhh! I'm so sorry!!!!!!!!!  
  
A Little Tidbit Of My Life: Tomorrow is career fair at school! Career fair is a time where you get a whole bunch of free goodies! (Okay, actually you're supposed to learn about careers, but everyone only wants the free stuff) Last year I got a bag from the army booth, and filled it to the top with stuff like candy from Wal-Mart and everywhere else, puzzles from St. Jude, & cool pens from Fed Ex that had wings and turned in to airplanes. I even got pizza from Red Baron. Its awesome!  
  
~...~ = telepathic communication  
  
********************************  
  
"Oh, Johney, you're so romaaaaaantic!"  
  
Miranda batted her eyelashes at the young actor as she ate her gelato. If she played her cards right, she could get a boyfriend AND a career out of this. I mean, Johney was in a major motion picture. He had connections. She could get a record deal and Bye, Bye Hillridge. Hello, fame and fortune!  
  
Suddenly she saw something across the room that made her blink twice. It was...Billa Leigh. She was talking with two shady looking characters in black suits and dark glasses. There was an exchange of money, alot of money. And...goodness gracious, they had guns. All of them, even Billa Leigh. I think she had just hired two real Italian hitmen to kill Lizzie.  
  
This was so exciting!   
  
************************************  
  
"Delivery for a Melina Bianca!"  
  
Melina screamed, calmed herself, then opened the hotel door. "Hello, Alfonzo," she said, greeting the now-familiar delivery man as he handed her a giant teddy bear.   
  
"This boy, Tadd..." Alfonzo said, "He really likes you, doesn't he?"  
  
"He's OBSESSED!" Melina screamed, ripping open the bear's velcro tummy to reveal a giant box of candies, "Chocolate?"  
  
"Thanks." Alfonzo popped one into his mouth, then immediatly spit it out into his hand. "Ugh, coconut. Are there any orange creams?"   
  
As Alfonzo poked little holes in the bottoms, searching for an orange cream, Melina went out into the hall to find Matt. They were going shopping. Tadd had sent her tons of money, and she was putting it to good use. A shopping spree in Rome. What fun!  
  
Lizzie put on her dark sunglasses and ventured out into the streets.  
  
Cayden had been following her.   
  
Alot. She couldn't avoid him anymore. Now Miranda was always off with Johney, and Gordo was filiming things and Melina was busy avoiding her own stalker and Matt was busy doing something...she had no one to hide behind!  
  
Suddenly, out of nowhere, Cayden appeared. "Hey hon!"  
  
"Don't call me 'hon'!" She hit him with her purse and broke into a run. Suddenly she was stopped by two tall, scary men.   
  
"Where you sweetheart?"  
  
"She's going right here with us." They grabbed her and she began screaming. They slapped duct tape over her mouth. (A/N: Another wonderful use for our favorite adhesive friend)  
  
******************  
  
~Gordo, help me...~  
  
Gordo jumped as he heard Lizzie's voice. "Lizzie?! Where are you?!"  
  
~In your mind...~  
  
"What?"  
  
~This is telepathic communication.~  
  
"When did you become telepathic?"  
  
~I dunno...maybe you're the telepathic one.~  
  
"I'm not telepathic. I would have known."  
  
~Maybe you're only telepathic in Europe.~  
  
"I don't think it works that way, Lizzie. You're either telepathic or you're not."  
  
~HOW DO YOU KNOW?! HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TELEPATHIC BEFORE?! NOW JUST GET ME OUT OF THIS PLACE BEFORE THEY KILL ME!~  
  
***************************  
  
"Billa Leigh Ruff is behind bars today for hiring two hit men to kill a young Californian girl named Elizabeth McGuire."  
  
Lizzie was enjoying all the attention she was getting. (Except from Cayden. That was still creepy) Her mother was all crying and swoony and nice, and Matt was doing anything she asked.   
  
"You have ruined my movie."  
  
The director pointed at Lizzie. "If Billa Leigh hadn't have tried to kill you, she would BE HERE TODAY, filming the Libby McIntire Movie. Now who's going to play Libby?"  
  
"........."  
  
"You're right, Danny!" Blake Promise, aka Pat, said, "She looks just like Billa Leigh, and could take her place!"  
  
"I didn't say anything you loser. I only play Danny on TV. My real name is Chris Jenn. You know that. Get a life."  
  
"That is a good idea Chris Jenn...um...didn't have. Lizzie here does look just like Billa Leigh. You up to playing Libby McIntire, kid?"  
  
"Wait..." Lizzie said, "So I'll be pretending to be an actress pretending to be a girl pretending to be a popstar?"  
  
"Uh...yeah."  
  
Lizzie stood up, grinning. "Sure thing!"  
  
*****************************  
  
"So...you're going to play LIBBY MCINTIRE in the movie?"  
  
"Yep," Lizzie said proudly, smiling at Gordo. She was lying in the nice hotel bed, still 'recovering' from her tramatic experience.   
  
"Wow...I always said you'd make a great actress."  
  
Lizzie laughed, remembering when he had said this. "Well, I guess I was wrong and you were right...like always."  
  
Gordo sat down beside her, leaning against a pillow. "I'm not always right. I say I'm wrong...at LEAST 3% of the time."  
  
Lizzie rolled her eyes. "Someone has an inflated ego."  
  
"What?" Gordo looked out the window, his expressions suddenly turning serious. "I guess...you'll be leaving Hillridge, then? Forget all about us little people?"  
  
Lizzie's smile became less vivacious and more gentle. "Theres one time your wrong. I could never forget about anyone from my hometown...especially you, Gordo." There eyes met, and before Lizzie knew what she was doing, she leaned over and kissed Gordo, right on the lips.  
  
Cayden was watching from outside the window.  
  
*************************************  
  
Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! They kiss-ed!  
  
Lizzie McGuire (Not Libby McIntire) Movie comes out Friday! Go see it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I already know what happens, but I'm gonna see it six or seven times anyway! 


	7. Fights

I'm in a good mood. Tonight was Free Scoop Night at Baskin Robbins, and my sister and I hit a whole bunch of Baskin Robbins and got a lot of ice cream. Oh, I'm evil.  
  
Today was also Career Fair. I got a bunch of candy, but sadly, no pizza this year. This one booth did have a bunch of truffles, and I took like, ten. Like I said, I'm evil. And gluttonous. (thats bad.)  
***********************************  
  
Lizzie took in a short breath after their kiss, her face still right next to his. There noses touched softly, and this time Gordo came in for another kiss. This one was longer than the first.  
  
Cayden watched this all without breathing. His darling little princess...his future wife was...was...was...  
  
BEING SEXUALLY HARRASSED BY THAT JERK!  
  
Cayden burst threw the window, grabbed Gordo, and punched him right in the jaw. Gordo may be sweet and intelligent and sensible, but also could pack a punch. He slammed his own fist into Cayden's face, and soon they were in an all-out brawl in Lizzie's hotel room.   
  
"Oh my God! Cayden! CAYDEN!...honey. Cayden, sweetheart. Don't do that to Gord- GORDO! Oh my God, Gordo, you're going to kill him and...oh my God! Security! Police! SOMEONE! HELP!"  
  
After some big security guys had finally pulled Gordo and Cayden apart, Jo McGuire asked Lizzie what happened.   
  
"Well, Gordo and I were...um...we were...um...kissing and-"  
  
"KISSING?!" Sam shouted, "What were you and Gordo doing KISSING?! Alone? In a hotel room? And you were supposed to be resting in bed!"  
  
Lizzie bit her lip. "Uh...I, uh...was in bed."  
  
"YOU TWO WERE KISSING IN BED?!"  
  
"You make it sound like we were doing something dirty, but we weren't! We were just kissing, and our tongues weren't even in each other's mouths!" She screamed, ran out, and slammed the door.  
  
***************************  
  
"I'd like a rewrite."  
  
Cayden Ryder stood there, holding a script. "See...at the end here? Libby and Waldo kiss on the roof? I'd like to make that Libby and Ephraim kiss on the roof."  
  
"But you're inside eating spaghetti with Tate."  
  
"REWRITE!"  
  
Cayden spun around. "I have to kiss Lizz- I mean, Libby. The people demand it."  
  
"Actually..." one of the writers said, "They really like Libby and Waldo. See, on fanfiction.net, theres tons of Libby/Waldo stories. Like Kitetrimming, by Emma Lee Faire E. That ones real good, don'tcha think, Ariel?"  
  
The other writer nodded. "Its on my favorites list. So is A Few Like It 450 degrees Farenhiet, DHCboy."  
  
"I haven't read that one!"  
  
"You should."  
  
Cayden rolled his eyes and walked away.  
  
****************************  
  
"I cannot pretend to love this girl! I cannot pretend to like her! She disgusts me!"  
  
Tadd M. Clamberg tossed his script into the air. They had tried to do the scene where Waldo and Libby were sharing headphones six or seven times, but Tadd hated Lizzie McGuire with a passion. He couldn't act with her, he said.  
  
"You're a jerk," Lizzie stated clearly.   
  
"You smell like rotten strawberries!" Tadd shot back.  
  
"SHE DOES NOT!" Gordo and Cayden screamed at the same time. They then looked at each other, and glared.  
  
"Do you wanna start something?" Cayden asked, in a low voice.  
  
"I don't know, do you?" Gordo spat back, ready to rip his head off. He didn't know why, but Cayden and him didn't get along well. There was the whole them both loving Lizzie thing, but Lizzie loved him and not Cayden.  
  
"Don't fight on the set, you guys," Lizzie sighed, "Take it somewhere else, where you won't knock anything over. Go next door to the...spa or whatever."  
  
It was then people started cheering, as they do. "Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!"  
  
Gordo and Cayden started walked in circles around each other."Wanna take this to the hotel spa, Old Man River?"  
  
"Bring it on, Jewish boy."  
  
"Making fun of my religion! I'm gonna slit your throat!"  
  
"Well...you called me Old Man River!"  
  
They started duking it out right next to the facial treatment facility. Just then the door opened, and Miranda ran in, holding Johney's hand.   
  
"GUESS WHAT YOU GUYS?! JOHNEY AND I ELOPED!"  
  
*******************************  
  
Dun dun dun! Miranda's a married woman! Lizzie and Gordo are in a "relationship". And so are Gordo and Cayden, for that matter, though their relationship consists mainly of beating the crap out of each other whenever possible. 


	8. An Offer Cayden Can't Refuse, and Things...

"You what?!"  
  
"We got married! Isn't it splendiferous!" Miranda took Johney's hand and they smiled at each other. "So, this old justice of the peace owed Johney money, so he agreed to marry us, no questions asked..."  
  
Lizzie's head was spinning. Cayden was spinning Gordo's head. None of this made sense.  
  
"So we're going to live in Johney's godfather's underground burrow in Greenland..."  
  
WHAT?! Greenland?!  
  
Lizzie shook her head. Maybe she was just imagining things because she was faint. She needed food...yeah, food. "Come on, Gordo," she said, "Let Cayden out of the headlock. I'm hungry. Lets go get some food."  
  
Gordo smiled, dropped Cayden's head on the marble floor, and ran over to Lizzie. "Okay." He glanced at Cayden, then gave Lizzie the biggest, most passionate kiss anyone in that room had ever seen. Finishing with a relishing SMACK, Gordo gave Cayden a smirk, then ran out of the room. Lizzie ran after him.  
  
*************************  
  
Cayden had been laboring over this work for hours. Now...it was finally done. The NEW final scene of the Libby McIntire Movie:  
  
LIBBY: "One more sneak up to the roof, for old times sake?"  
  
WALDO: "Actually, I have to go...somewhere. Why doesn't Ephraim go up with you?  
  
EPHRAIM: "OK."  
  
{On roof}  
  
LIBBY: "I love you, Ephraim."  
  
{They make out for an hour}  
  
LIBBY: "You're sooooo much cuter than...say...that guy over there named Gordo. I want to kiss you and hug you forever."  
  
{They kiss and hug forever. The end}  
  
"Its perfect! This is the end everyone wants!"  
  
Suddenly, out of the darks shadows of the hotel room, a figure approached. It was none other than...Tadd M. Clamberg.  
  
"I can get you your Lizzie," he said, "If you can do one thing for me..."  
  
*************************  
  
"Matt, hold these bags. I'm going to try these other clothes on."  
  
Matt smiled as smiled shoved the bags into his arms. Sure...she didn't treat him great, but...she was so...Melina.  
  
Suddenly he saw a girl who looked strangely like Melina. She looked like she was about to cry. He ran over.  
  
"Hello."  
  
She wiped her eyes. "Who are you?"  
  
"I'm Matt. Hey...I know you! You're Marli Troader!"  
  
Marli sniffled. "Correct. And at the moment I'm contemplating suicide."  
  
Matt gasped. "Wh-why?!"  
  
"Because," Marli said, "The one I love has found another. Tadd...Tadd M. Clamberg is in love with another girl!" She burst into tears. "She's probably prettier than me, and she's probably smarter than me, and she's probably a lot more fun to be with." (A/N: Actually, she's alot like you.)  
  
"Come on," Matt said, putting his arm around her and dropping Melina's bags, "Lets go get some gelato and talk."  
  
*******************  
  
Sorry this chapters so short. I had a rough time getting it out cuz I had major writers block. I luv you, all my reviewers. 


	9. Witches and Love Potions

Here it is! The magical chapter nine of Libby McIntire! Only a few more chapters to go you guys!!!!!!!  
  
Hmm...ehat should I tell you about my life? Oh!  
  
My stepdad was in the grocery store the other day, and you'll never guess who he was behind almost the entire time. Trenyce, from American Idol. (I live in Memphis) All these ladies were crowding around her and were like, "Girl, you should have won," and "We're so proud of you!" My stepdad said she bought a lot of Vienna sausages, and not even good ones. (is there such a thing?) She bought store-brand Vienna sausages. Yuck.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"Wow, Marli. I've never met a girl like you before."  
  
Matt sat at the table in the gelato shop, staring at Marli as she signed autographs for little children. "I've never met anyone like you either, Matt," she said, smiling, and tossing her long white blonde hair. She smiled a mysterious little smile. "So...is your little girlfriend going to be mad you just left?" She laughed at Matt's surprised face. "I've seen you two around."  
  
"Oh, she's not my girlfriend," Matt said as if in a trance, "I have no romantic interest in Melina whatsoever." She ate his melty gelato while all the while staring at Marli.  
  
Suddenly there was a loud ruckus (sp?) near the entrance of the shop. "MATT MCGUIRE! How dare you run off and leave me at the mall !? I have the mind to smack-" Suddenly Melina flew against the wall, slamming hard into the concrete. Everybody but Marli gasped. Matt gawked. "What just-"  
  
"Come on, Matthew," Marli said.  
  
"But Melina..."  
  
Melina fixed her gaze on Matt, and touched her silver amulet. "Come, Matthew," she said in a frightening voice.  
  
There was a glazed over look in Matt's eyes. "Yes...Marli."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Melina was furious. Not only was Matt with some other girl, it was some freaky-witch girl that had cast a spell over him.  
  
She was walking back to the hotel, taking abandoned, dark alley's instead of well-lit busy streets. Suddenly she heard a voice. "Hey...Melina. Come here." She turned around, surprised. As soon as she saw who it was, she relaxed.'  
  
"Hey Cayden," she said, "What are you doing in a dark alley?"  
  
Cayden looked a bit uncomfortable. "Melina, you're a sweet kid, and I don't really wanna do this, but...I really love Lizzie." He lunged at her, knocked her out, and ran off carrying her.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"You got the goods?"  
  
Cayden rolled his eyes, and handed Tadd Melina's limp body. "Listen, my conscience is on me enough. She's not 'the goods'. She's a little girl. Now are you going to deliver?"  
  
"Of course," tadd said, setting Melina down on a lacy canopy bed. She looked utterly serene in her unconsciousness. Tadd snapped his fingers. "Marli!"  
  
Marli appeared. She was wearing a long, black gown and black gloves that went to her elbows. "Follow me, Cayden."  
  
Marli's hotel room was rather dark and spooky. The only light radiated from the hundreds of candles lit around the room. Incense burned somewhere and...Justin Timberlake's 'Cry Me A River' played?   
  
"Sorry," Marli said, "I was just...uh...ya know, hangin out..." She paused, and turned off the CD player. "Now...sit." Cayden sat. "You wish to make this Lizzie McGuire love you, do you?"  
  
Cayden nodded eagerly.  
  
"I already have her little brother wrapped around my fingers. Mortals are so easily fooled...no offense. I just needed a simple incantation with Matt. Not even a potion. But this Lizzie is deeply in love with her friend, so I suspect you'll be needing this." From the deep fold of her dress she drew out a vile of clear liquid.   
  
"What is it?" Cayden asked.   
  
"A very effective love potion," Marli said simply, "All you have to do is put a drop in Lizzie's drink at dinner, and she will fall instantly on love with..." She plucked a hair from Cayden's head, put it in the vile, and shook it up. "...you."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
That night at dinner, Cayden was very nervous. They were all eating together, but he avoided Lizzie. He didn't want her to get suspicious.   
  
Miranda and Johney, the newlyweds, were all over each other, kissing and feeding each other. "Lizzie," Miranda said, finally turning to her best friend, "What baby name do you like better- Estella or Annmarie?"  
  
"Annmarie...wait a second! BABY name?!"  
  
Miranda giggled. "Just planning ahead...nothing definate yet. I think we'll wait a few more years."  
  
"You better!" Lizzie said incredulously, "We're still in school!"  
  
Miranda just laughed it off.  
  
Cayden took this oppurtunity to pour to liquid into Lizzie's Coke. Despite a small puff of smoke, nothing else happened.   
  
He waited anxiously for her to take a sip. How he wanted her eyes to long for her. He watched in pain as she kissed Gordo.  
  
"Ooh, hot!" Jo McGuire waved her hand in front of her mouth as she ate the spicy seasoned chicken, "I need something to drink, fast!" Her water was empty. "Lizzie, can I have some of your Coke?"  
  
"Uh..sure Mom."  
  
Jo reached over for it.  
  
"NO!!!!!!!!" Cayden screamed.  
  
But it was too late. She drank every last drop.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Please review! 


	10. The Finale

This is it you guys...the final chapter.  
  
Dun, dun, dun!  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The potion did not to long at all.  
  
Jo McGuire blinked once, then twice. Then..."Cayden, I never noticed the really sexy way your eyes sparkle."  
  
Everyone was silent, and Cayden was horrified. He wanted to win the love of Lizzie, not her mother! He slid away uneasily, but Jo just scooted closer to him. "You know you can't deny these feelings," she whispered softly, letting her lips brush against his ear.  
  
Lizzie clapped her hands over her mouth like she was going to throw up.   
  
Cayden pushed her away, and ran off. "Keep away from me!"  
  
"But my love for you is so strong, Cayden!!!!!!!" Jo screamed, running after him.  
  
Matt wasn't paying any attention. He felt so guilty. It was his fault Melina disapeared, her knew it. The strange thing was, for no reason in particular, no one had gone to search for her. They just brushed it off. But...but this was real life! This wasn't just some dumb fanfiction where everything turned out okay in the last chapter! He had to do something!  
  
"Pass the mashed potatoes, will you, Matt?"   
  
"Huh?" Matt looked over at Marli, who was waiting for the potatoes. "Oh, um...sure. Here."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Matt needed to rescue Melina. He knew that, deep in his heart. He just needed some dashing hero clothes to where while doing the job.  
  
He threw open his suitcase. He didn't know if he had anything dashing enough. And he didn't even know where Melina was!!!!!!! He wished he could communicate telepathically, like SOME kidknap victims he knew...  
  
"Going out to rescue Melina?" Matt looked over at the doorway, and saw Cayden.   
  
"Still hiding out from my mom?" Matt muttered, frustrated by his lack of heroic garments.  
  
Cayden shrugged. "I know where Melina is."  
  
Matt's head jerked up. "Where?!"  
  
"The old warehouse on Smith Street," Cayden said mysteriously.  
  
"Smith Street?" Matt questioned, "That doesn't sound very Italian."  
  
Cayden smacked his forehead. "Oh yeah! We're in Italy, aren't we?...then I guess she's unconcious up in Todd's room. Better go rescue her." Matt started to run out. "Wait!" Matt turned around.  
  
"What?"  
  
Cayden pulled out some dashing looking hero clothes. "Thought you might need these."   
  
Matt broke into a grin and jogged back to his hotel room. "Thanks, man."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Sam stood in the courtyard of the hotel, talking into his cell phone. "Uh huh? Everything's alright at the house? Yeah...I miss you, too..."  
  
"Sam?"  
  
Sam jumped, almost dropping his cell phone. He looked at Jo with fear. "I wasn't talking to my lawn gnome long distance!!!!"  
  
Jo smiled weakly, and shook her head. "No, no, Sam...its okay. See...I want a divorce. I'm in love with a fifteen year old boy."  
  
Sam's eyes widened. "You mean...I can be with Gno-um...I mean...WHAT?! But I love you!!!"  
  
Jo spun around. "It wouldn't work! My love for Cayden Ryder is too strong to even speak of! I love him deeply, with every fiber of my being!!!!!! Do you even understand love like that, Sam McGuire?!"  
  
Sam slowly nodded. "Yes..." He closed his eyes, picturing his love. The big, empty eyes, white beard, and pointed red hat. How he missed him so...The Italian gnomes meant nothing to him.  
  
Jo smiled softly. "Then you do understand..." She gave a small smile, and kissed him softly on the lips. "Bye! I'm gonna go find my honey!" She ran off, and Sam lifted the cell phone to his ear.  
  
"You wanna get married?"  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Matt ran to the elevator, and went up. He had to rescue Melina! He had to- "Miranda?"  
  
Miranda sat in the hotel hallway. She looked up at Matt, tears in her eyes. "Johney broke up with me."  
  
Matt closed his eyes. He had been afraid of that. So did this mean they were getting a divorce? "He's a loser, Miranda."  
  
"No, Matt! I'm the loser! He likes another girl! She's probably prettier than me, and she's probably smarter than me, and-"  
  
"WAIT A SECOND!!!!!!!!!"   
  
Lizzie came running down the hall. "You thief!"  
  
Miranda stared at her. "What?"  
  
Lizzie glared at her. "Don't give me that! You totally stole my "heartbroken" speech!"  
  
"Did not!"  
  
"You are freakin' lying! You did too!"  
  
Matt rolled his eyes, and contiuued on his quest.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"CAYDEN!!!!!! You have to tell me when you turn 18, so I we can set a date for the wedding! The divorce will be offical by then!"  
  
Cayden's mind was screaming. WHY did she have to drink that potion?! He had to find Marli. There had to be a cure!!!!!!!!  
  
Marli appeared out of nowhere. "Do you have a cure," Cayden asked, out of breath from running from Jo.  
  
"I got your cure right here!" Marli pulled out a needle, and jabbed it in his arm. Cayden screamed, then suddenly his eyes glazed over, and the love potion began to take effect. "Jo?"  
  
"CAYDEN!"  
  
They ran toward each other, and finally enjoyed a totally illegal kiss.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Matt knocked on Tadd's door. "Melina? You in there?" No one answered, so he tried the doorknob. The room was unlocked!  
  
He saw Melina sleeping on the bed like an angel. He kissed her forehead, and all of the sudden her eyes flew open and she hit him in the jaw.  
  
"Melina!"  
  
"Oh my God! Sorry...thought you were Tadd." Matt lifted Melina into his arms, and carried her out of the room. They stopped in the hall, where they saw Tadd and Marli making out.  
  
Tadd stopped kissing the eleven year old actress, and smiled. "You can go free, Melina! Marli and I are back together!"  
  
Matt and Melina gawked. "That was surprisingly simple."  
  
Matt took Melina's hand. "Melina...I have something to ask you. ...will you go out with me?"  
  
Melina smiled. "Sure." And she kissed him on the lips.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The plane ride home was unsettling and weird. "Do you realize that whole time in Rome, we never did any filming for a movie?" Lizzie said.  
  
Everyone just shrugged.  
  
"The whole Libby McIntire thing is just weird," Miranda said, "I mean...is it just me, or does the show kind of remind you of our life?"  
  
Every stared at her strangely.  
  
"Uh...no." Melina said.  
  
Miranda blushed. "I guess I'm talking crazy talk."  
  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
Epilogue  
*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*  
  
  
As soon as they returned from Rome, Sam McGuire moved all of his belongings out of the house, and he and the lawn gnome eloped in Las Vegas. They now reside in Maryland, where they live happily in a restored farmhouse. They have one child together, Paprika.  
  
Lizzie and Gordo stayed together until they were 19, when Gordo died unexpectedly in a freak, gasoline fight accident.  
  
Miranda never remarried, although she did become a bitter old woman.  
  
On Cayden's eighteenth birthday, he and Jo were married in a beautiful ceremony in the backyard of the McGuire household. Everyone, including Tadd, Marli, and a recently released from prison Billa Leigh Ruff, attended.  
  
Matt and Melina stayed together for a long time, and got married. They became missionaries and traveled throughout Europe, but would not go near Italy.  
  
Ciao for now. 


End file.
